It's raining, it's pouring . . .

. . . and I'm crying and boring.

This has been a hard time for me. The weekend was quiet, raining, very little to do . . . and the dreaded nothing much on TV. No one is online, to be expected. Saturday I went out to a market with a good sale on and got the things I like to have in.

Was very disappointed to find that after a year of no income other than UIC payments that I am going to have to pay Income Tax! I was livid. I called to find out what was up with that and they said that anything over $2.00 must be paid, either way.

Mood: crappy, not loving and giving, as I've been working on.

Got to a point during the weekend where I felt very lonely and unloved. Don't know why, just came up inside me and I was all weepy and angry. You know, one of those times when you need God to come down and tell you what the **---** you are doing here and He's busy with real work to do and it makes everything worse. I know you have all been there. I hear that everyone has the same complaint all the time.

I stayed on the computer too late, watched TV even later. This is a very bad sign that I could almost go off my schedule of discipline. But, back on 1 PM start time, did my chores this morning. Vacuumed, cleaned counters, showered & dressed. I'm disappointed that i don't have any real schedule going, one day my inner child did a check in with me that went something like this: If you don't do anything this weekend then niether will I, and you are going to be in big trouble when I don't have homework done on Monday. Okay, okay, I get it. I have to do something to get anything done. I hate this kid . . . when she's right. I have to get out of here quickly, she wants to journal and needs my help. I'm still reading.

Went to the library on Sat and got a couple of books, one mystery, one historical fiction, how gooder is that? Alright, now I'm on my way, but its so comfy here.