Quote For Today

At the center of your being you know the answer.

You know who you are and

What you want.

In the deepest part of my consciousness I know this one, and think I've always known it.

Now, all I have to do is find a way to dig it out of the place where I hide the things that seem like they are too hard for me to deal with. Do I know who I am? Do I know what I want? I have been asking God for the answer to those exact questions for a couple of years now, now that I finally figured out what the questions are.

I am beginning to understand that it takes more than just knowing the right questions, it takes some work on my part. When I first started my Listening Project for an hour each day, I knew that I was going to be quiet and not have to do any of the interjuecting or making responses. That way I could hear what others were saying and give them the courtesy of finishing a thot. It was a lot of work and not looking worried at the same time was another bit of work that I hadn't anticipated. This new revelation will take more, like the next step in the path of my learning process.

This will involve times of quiet, without external resources, TV, radio, computer, books, or anything that distracts from my time of focus. I'm not really sure I'm ready to do this much work at the present time. As I write it out it becomes more real and huge. To spend time everyday with no companionship, distractions that I can go to to stop the thots from coming in and causing me to change my ways/attitudes. I can imagine that I will start very small when I choose to make my first attempt at it. One minute at a time, one minute at a time.

For now, I am still dealing with the Stubbornness that keeps me from progressing beyond the place that keeps me away from all the great things that everyone says life holds for me if only I get involved. I don't see it tho, I don't have any desire to do that one special thing if only I had the energy, if only I could make the time, if only I weren't so broke. None of those sorts of reasons are holding me back. I just can't seem to find anything that I'm that interested in. That makes it very sad. A whole world of things to do, try out, get involved with, and I can honestly say I'm not that interested and I don't even know why. All I know is that right now, I am going to end this and go get some crackers cuz I'm feeling snacky.